Monday, June 30, 2003

they stopped at a rest stop. she was still asleep, and had rolled over to the other side of the car. he got out, and helped his new guardian fill the tank, and clean the windows. they still had quite a journey in front of them. it was early enough in the morning that the sun hadnt quite risen over the horizon, but it was light enough that they could easily see without many probelms.
"so what did you want to do for a career?" his new friend asked
"i was going to go to college for commercial music...i eventually wanted to get into music videos and independent films," he replied.
that was the extent of the conversation for now. but it was enough to start him thinking. how was he going to support his companion? was running away such a bright idea? all these questions and more flooded his mind. at once, he sank. he started to get dizzy. they got back into the car, and resumed their journey westward.
not much sleep was gained that night. all he could do was think about her. he could not lose her. they had come so far, gone through so much together. it could not end. but how was he going to support her? he couldnt get an actual job. too much paperwork. they would be found. he couldnt live off of the travelers that decided to help them for an entire year either. he was too used to being independent. too used to doing things for himself...he hated depending on other people and things because he didnt know if it would always be there. it was a gamble to be with her...to be dependent on her. he didnt want to lose her, because he had become dependent on her. this was one addiction he did not mind though. he loved her.
"what are you thinking?"
startled by his companion speaking, not even realizing she was awake, he answered,
"really, what are you thinking?"
"how much i love you"
he could not let her know his fears. he did not want her to worry. he did not want her to lose hope. he did not want to lose control, fore he knew if he let on he was scared, she would start to worry. if she worried, he would lose what little strength he had...she was the source of it.
he leaned over and kissed her, and moved back into his spot. she turned, and layed her head on his chest.
"i love you too," she said.
soon she was asleep again, in his arms once more. he had never felt better...never felt more safe.

Sunday, June 01, 2003

yeah it is...ima check all my papers, and find chap one. ill get what i can asap

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